Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams

For our very first (dating) anniversary Brad and I took a trip to Chattanooga, Tennessee. We thought it would be fun to see the Aquarium there and bum around the quaint little town. I didn’t realize how impressive the Aquarium would be, but it was really awesome.

Brad knows everything in the world there is to know about the ocean and all of the creatures that live in it. He watches the Discovery Channel non-stop and can tell you the Genus/Phylum/Order/Species of practically any fish in the sea. It’s pretty impressive. Me? Not so much. I’m doing good to identify a “Dora” fish or a “Nemo” fish and that’s about it.

So as we were walking through the different displays Brad was telling me all about the little creatures and their lives. We saw some pretty cool things. There was this one Seahorse that was bright yellow and looked like seaweed - very cool. I’m kind of skived out by things in the ocean, but this guy – he was really cute!

When we got towards the end there was an “interactive” area (which I now know is code for HELL ON EARTH Kid Zone) where you could touch some of the sea life. As we got closer we saw some small-ish fish-type things that were swimming around in a kiddy pool. They were about 2 feet long and grey and seemed unbothered by the pummeling they were receiving by hundreds of snotty hands. I looked at the sign that said “Beluga Sturgeon” and had the following exchange with Brad:


Me: Huh. Beluga? Like where you get caviar from?

Brad: Well, yes, you get caviar from Beluga Sturgeon.

Me: (the hamster in my head is running FULL SPEED on his wheel)

… ??....??….

(Light bulb goes off)

Me: So, those things are WHALES?!?!?!!?

(massive laughter erupts from the sea of children around us)

Punk Ass Kid: Lady, these are not whales! They aren’t big enough, these are fish.

Brad: Actually, they are Sturgeon. (laughing hysterically) We get Beluga Caviar from Beluga Sturgeon, not whales. Whales are much, much bigger, Rebekah. You just got schooled by a 9-year old. (high-fives Punk Ass Kid)

Me: Whatever. I hate fish.