The Highs and Lows of Corporate America

**After passing the dreaded Series 66 and landing the job that would eventually lead to billions and billions of dollars (still waiting on that one by the way) I found that the working world was very different from college. No Spring Break, no summer's off and you actually have to worry about how you dress. It was a culture shock and I wasn't totally ready for it...**





I have found that somethings just never change, and something's do.


In college, when I would attempt to go to class (which was seldom at best), I would set my alarm to go off 30 minutes before my class started. Plenty of time, right? The first time my alarm would go off I would lazily roll over and hit snooze button. I would then repeat the process every few minutes until I would eventually roll over the last time and realize that I only had 6 minutes left to get to class; so then I would HAUL ASS out of bed, grab the first article of clothing I saw laying on my floor, throw my hair in a ponytail while running to my car and then screech into the parking lot with seconds to spare. I would then RUN AT FULL SPEED into the classroom and HURL myself into a seat and look around like "What? I'm totally on time."


As I said, something's never change. I still wait to the very last possible minute to get up and make it to work on time. But now my beauty regime is a bit more involved. Apparently, in the working world, you’re actually supposed to look presentable and not like Death Run Over. It also takes me far longer to get to work (compliments of Atlanta traffic) than it did for me to drive two miles from my dorm to the Haley Center for class. Instead of wadded up sorority shirts and cutoff shorts, I wear a suit everyday, and under no circumstances do I put said suits in a ball on the ground - there's simply different care instructions for suits than there are for t-shirts and shorts! Go Figure.


After I have franticly gotten ready, sat through traffic, found a parking place and gotten into my office there's one thing, and one thing only, on my mind...Starbucks. I love Starbucks because no matter how bad of a mood I am in, how band traffic was or how many times I got waived the bird by a 90 year old lady on the way in, once I take the first sip of that piping hot Pumpkin Spice Latté I go into a state of caffeinated bliss and I am immediately happy. I then repeat this $4.73 experience about 14 times a day. (Note To Self… I may have a new theory on why I am broke.)


My day is riddled with mailing and faxing and typing and meetings and all sorts of Grown-Up Things. I even have my own stationary with my name on it thankyouverymuch! There are Very Professional Things and Very Professional People that I work with. At least that’s what they would have you think until we have a company "get-together" at Dave & Busters and they get so drunk that someone actually gets in a fist-fight with a 7 year old over game TICKETS!!!

But that's another story all together.


Other than getting used to this whole growing up business, things have been busy and good with me. Brad and I attempted to get into the Christmas Spirit by attending a Christmas Play with my Mother (staring Dana Bennet "the voice of Ariel" in the Little Mermaid). Impressive, I know. The play was going just fine until one of the Sheppard’s brought a live sheep on stage and it then proceeded to PEE ON THE STAGE. Of course there was suddenly an impromptu scene change where they attempted to clean up the pee in the dark. BUT the most horrifying part was in Act 3, scene 2 when the little orphan went to LAY DOWN on the exact spot where the sheep PEED!! People, he’s had a hard enough life already: he's a freakin orphan. Did he have to lay in sheep's pee too??? IT'S CHRISTMAS FOR CRYING OUTLOUD.


So, that effectively put the cynicism back into my holiday cheer…