I figured since we will be getting to know each other a little better here on Grits & Wit, I would "show mine" first. Here are a few random facts about me. Proof positive that I will one day be involved in a case study on Crazy Women...
1. My Dad's nickname for me is "Roxy" short for "Roxanne-Honeysuckle-Sugar-Britches-Darlin-Do-My-Sweet-Potato-Pie." He has called me this my whole life. He is also a very weird dude.
2. I live with a paralyzing fear of men who wear jean shorts. If those jean shorts are being held up with a braided belt and paired with sandals that are, at least in part, made of Velcro, you might as well just kill me.
3. I am OBSESSED with Reality TV. It’s a true sickness. So bad, in fact, that I have watched every episode of all three seasons of Bret Michaels' Rock of Love at least twice. ...I didn't say I was proud of myself.
4. I could easily survive on cheese dip alone. I'd be fat, but I'd be happy. Ole!
5. I do not eat eggs, butter or mayonnaise. I could also live without back jelly beans, coconut, English peas and jagermeister.
6. I know every single word to the Outkast song "Bombs over Baghdad" and if you want to challenge me to a rap-off, I will totally win. Unless you are Snoop Dog, then I would loose.
7. I have three dogs...
Buttermilk Pancake Frances Samford-Nuss "Pancake” (worlds smallest Pomeranian)
Charles Fisherman Samford-Nuss "Fisher" (Parsons Jack Russell Terrier/Mentally Retarded)
Roxanna Eloise Nuss "Roxy" (Tiny Precious Pixy Pomeranian)
8. I met my husband on a blind date. He had a nice butt, so I decided to keep him around.
9. I love rainy Sundays, sitting by the fireplace, holding hands, fried green tomatoes and fresh cut flowers.
10. I aspire to be a Martha Stewart-like Domestic Goddess, minus the cleaning. So, I cook dinner for my husband every night and most nights it’s edible.
11. As a public service announcement I would like to remind people that if you attend a wedding, eat their food, drink their booze and boogie to their band, you should bring a gift.
12. My Mom is my hero. She's also the bomb.
13. The thing I'm most proud of is that I was successful and independent before I got married. I had a great job, bought a house and had money in the bank and I knew that if anything ever happened I would be able to stand on my own two feet.
14. Luckily #13 will never happen due to the fact that my husband is acutely aware that I have an extra dose of The Crazy and will go MEDIEVAL ON HIS ASS if he ever tries to leave me.
15. Even though it’s been 9 years since my sister passed away, I still cry about it at least a few times a week. My biggest regret in life is that she wasn’t able to stand beside me at my wedding.
16. I love sitting up all night chatting with a girlfriend and drinking wine. You know it was a good night if you end up in tears talking about how much you love each other!
17. I am obsessively early to everything and I get really annoyed when anyone makes me late.
18. I LIVE for Pottery Barn.
19. I consider myself somewhat of an expert in overreacting. I have a tendency to assume that any given problem is 3.5 million times worse than it actually is. My mind can easily jump from a Tivo malfunction to ARMAGEDDON!!
20. I have a moral objection to men who make that disgusting sound when they clear their sinuses by internally sucking the snot out of their nose and down their throat. For the Love of God use a tissue or you will never have sex with a woman again.
21. I've been told that I do not have an ounce of BS in me. I tell it like it is.
22. My goal in life is to travel the world with the love of my life (yes, I mean you, Brad) and retire in a small beach town in the South. of France.
23. I don't want to have kids, and I don't want your opinion on it either.
24. I was born to be a hostess. I love to have dinner parties, use the good china and be fancy! I came by this naturally; Martha Stewart routinely calls my mother for etiquette advice.
25. I will forgive, but I won't forget.
26. I like to break the rules :)